Just because we are in a recession doesn’t mean you should put your dynasty building plans on hold. Here are my reasons to be fruitful in reverse order.
I’ve been thinking about this for some time and my recent reading of Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell made me realise I’m probably not the only one. It’s an easy read; you’d probably get through it in a weekend. His thesis is that success is not so much a result of genius and/ or hard work but a result of circumstance; being in the right place at the right time. One of the stories he recounts to illustrate is how a father and son, even though they went into similar businesses, the Great Depression got the better of the father. The son on the other hand being only one of a relative handful of babies born during the Depression enjoyed more attention in school and easier access to public services because there was less competition for those resources due to the fallen birth rate.
And that is the first reason that you shouldn’t put your progeny plans on hold just because of a recession. The theory goes that this bust comes after a boom when money was spent on creating fabulous educational establishments that nurture and develop our children to their best potential. Maybe in other countries. However at least the (temporary) classrooms of your little twinkle may not be quite so overcrowded. They’ll still be sioctha fuar sa gheimhridh and rósta te sa samhradh but spacious.
But that’s the very least of them and may not come to fruition if you all take my other points to heart and go forth and multiply. It is a scary time at the moment as people are losing their jobs and having their hours cut and generally having to keep your head down and not rock the boat. For women in particular this throws into even starker contrast, the eternal question of whether she should ahem “take time off” to have children. (Like it’s a bleeding holiday or summat!) Regardless of the conditions your employer finds themselves in you will still receive your maternity payments. If your employer had a policy of topping up maternity leave and they suddenly changed this policy and no other staff were forced to take a pay cut you might even consider discussing this with the Equality Authority because it is a change in the contract that you have with your employer. But I’m no employment expert so check your facts before you raise your blood pressure.
Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I have two nippers. So when I say that children in their first five years are not a huge drain on your resources, I know what I’m talking about. True there is some specialised equipment involved but there are some great deals online (I got our Phil&Teds stroller for EUR100.00 cheaper online than it was being sold in Dublin baby shops and delivered to the door.) Why do children save you money? Firstly there’s the 40 week detox which saves you a fortune on your social life. Mind you Himself went with the attitude when we did go out that he was drinking for three (Only kidding!) Now I’m not saying, “Say bye bye to your social life.” but you will find that your priorities change and as your ankles swell standing in a crowded pub stone cold sober becomes less glamorous as the minutes tick by. Once the pregnancy is over, of course, you can reclaim your party animal mantle, if you can afford to pay a babysitter between EUR7.00 and EUR12.00 an hour. Yes it does take the shine off going out a bit doesn’t it? We’re very luck that we have lots of generous family members nearby who are often happy to babysit for us. However I frequently remember a bit of advice from an acquaintance when I was expecting Nipper 1.0, “Don’t rely on your parents to babysit because then your social life revolves around theirs.” I cannot complain at all but a good stash of unrelated babysitters is a must. So apart from the added cost of a babysitter, you tend to splash out on a babysitter for special occasions only. Okay that’s not probably selling the kid thing to you but I swear I really enjoy going out so much more now than I did when I did it every week, every Friday and Saturday. You don’t see the same crowd over and over again so when you do go out it’s all new and there’s loads to catch up on. It works for me.
They also save you money because your priorities change. I’m not saying I don’t hanker after fancy shoes and bags or the latest gadget. I’m not even saying that I don’t occasionally indulge those hankerings (see soon hopefully my upcoming post about my iPhone.) but I put a little more thought into those indulgences. This means that I tend to have less cognitive dissonance about my purchases and I get more out of them. Well that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
But I’m saving the best til last. Having the two boys from the moment I knew they were definitely on their way to right now as I listen to their little sleepy shnuffles on the monitor is the most life-affirming experience I have ever had. Being a parent and having that responsibility adds meaning to the most meaninglesss, menial and even meaningful tasks. Money doesn’t come into it. I would do any job to provide for them and I believe if times get tougher it will be character forming for us all. I know that might sound naive but I will always be their mum; I will always have them to brighten up the horizon and to keep me going.
My main point is, in five years time or even further down the line, will you look back at this recession and think “Wow, I saved a few quids by not having kids!” If you do and you never wanted kids, good for you. If you do and you did want kids I hope you still have time.
Go on, go for it. It’s great craic.